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Thankful

Did you miss me?? Haha!

Every once in a while something happens that lights that creative fire and then…I write. This time it was a simple text from my mom. Telling me she is thankful every day.

Ten years ago, my life was unrecognizable. Bad choice after bad choice, disappointing my friends, my family. I would include disappointing myself, but I had been there so long, I didn’t even know to be disappointed, anymore.  I couldn’t even see what I was doing.

Long story short, I finally accepted my family’s offer to help me. Ten years ago I went to rehab. It was the scariest, most uncomfortable situation I’ve ever been in. And that’s really saying a lot, cause I’m pretty much uncomfortable in most situations. Hah! As far out of my comfort zone as this program took me, I knew there was no other option. I learned more about myself, and grew more in that four months than in the seven years I’d spent tumbling down the rabbit hole.

I was terrified that I would always want, that I would always need…something. And looking back I remember that fear. That my life would never be quite right. That maybe I had ruined myself, and my ability to be happy. What a welcomed realization it was that that was not the case.

I can look back at my “dark time” (what my mom calls it) and although there is regret and embarrassment, I know that wasn’t really me. I mean…duh…it was me, but you know.

I’m sure there are stories in all of our lives we would like to rip out of our books, leave unread. But in all honesty, I am who I am today, I know what I know today because of my time in the dark.

It is in this mindset, these moments looking back, that I see how far I’ve come. And I too remember to be thankful each and every day that I chose this life. And even more so, that I was given the opportunity.

Xoxoxo

JYAJ

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3 thoughts on “Thankful”

  1. HA, Lol!

    YOU, my dear, are no average Jane! We love you and couldn’t be happier for you and Billy. We are so blessed to have you in our family and to be part of yours.

    Everyone has a story. Everyone. It makes us who we are, the people we become. If we’re lucky enough to survive in spite of ourselves with people who love us. (they might be annoying at the time, with all their love and help and all)

    The story makes for good reading and I wouldn’t want to ‘rip’ out a single page. It could make for a very dull read otherwise.

    It’s true what they say “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…and a bit wiser” – LOVE YOU!!!

    On Sun, Jul 2, 2017 at 3:39 PM, justyouraveragejane wrote:

    > justyouraveragejane posted: “Did you miss me?? Haha! Every once in a while > something happens that lights that creative fire and then…I write. This > time it was a simple text from my mom. Telling me she is thankful every > day. Ten years ago, my life was unrecognizable. Bad choice af” >

    Liked by 1 person

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